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Grace123
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    Introduce yourself

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    Admin
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    Introduce yourself Empty Hello all:-) ( Natalia)

    Post  Admin Tue Jun 02, 2009 10:12 am

    First of all, let me say that I am so happy you decided to join me, thank you so
    much:-)!



    I thought it would be a good idea to throw in some info about myself and if you
    feel like introducing yourselves a bit more, it would be fantastic:-)

    My name is Natalia, Im 32 and I used to be a bit of a traveller, moving from
    country to country until I met my SO and settled down in Denmark. It was a
    struggle and a big blow to my nature, but I think and hope it will continue to
    be worth it. I have never been one to want to get married and/or have kids and I
    have wanted to be sterilized for years, but it wasnt that easy. First it was
    illegal, then I was too young and basically I was treated like I didnt have my
    own will and reason just because I didnt want to breed year after year. I
    finally got sterilized two months ago and it was an enormous joy and relief to
    me at the same time. Of course I had to sign three hundred gazillion documents
    cofnirming that I know what I am doing and have two meetings with the doctor
    before they did it, but its done:-). My non existent sex drive is back, I am
    finally starting to lose the kilos I packed on durign years of using oral
    contraception and I dont PMS like crazy...life is so much better:-).


    Nat
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    Post  Admin Tue Jun 02, 2009 10:12 am

    Goodness you are so brave! I've never heard of a woman in my country that would
    voluntarily decide to be sterilized. I don't think a doctor would ever perform
    it anyway. Publicly I never admit I don't want kids. It's something between me
    and hubby.
    In work environment it could cost a person's career to admit he/she don't want
    any kids.
    Over here when you go to a doctor and he knows you are married or knows you are
    in a relationship longer than a year he starts selling the baby-product. He
    immediately sees you as an opportunity for numerous visits, an expensive birth
    plan etc.
    I wish I had the guts to watch this documentary on the birth business, but I'm a
    chicken. I'm sure that documentary would erase any doubt from my mind.


    Lily25
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    Post  Admin Tue Jun 02, 2009 10:33 am

    OOOOK I am trying to figure out how to work this darn thing and get myself a normal username!

    I would suggest using different user names than on the other forum Suspect just so that nobody can google this. I am off to play with settings...so many options aaargh


    WELCOME ! bounce
    Sharona
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    Post  Sharona Tue Jun 02, 2009 11:00 am

    I'll do a short intro too!

    I am Sharona, and I am 56. I have always known I didn't want kids. Growing up in the 1950's-60's was an era when most little girls (and their parents) assumed they grow up and make more kids. I was so lucky because my parents never pushed the stereotypes. I preferred playing with toy cars and I never played with dolls, and my parents were totally cool about it.

    I know a lot of people who choose not to have kids say that they didn't have the greatest childhoods, but I'm proof that childfree people don't all necessarily have messed-up childhoods. My parents were great, and I had a happy childhood.

    had a tubal ligation when I was in my late 20's, and have never, not for one millisecond, ever regretted it. I am out-of-the closet with my co-workers about my childfree status, and am always willing to take them on in lively debates about having vs. not having kids.

    I'm married and we have two cats. As much as I love kittens, I can't even deal with kid cats, so we purposely try to adopt the adult cats that are harder to place. We adopted one cat as a senior; he was 12 when we adopted him and is now a spry 15 year old. The younger one was 4, but he had a severe case of cage stress at the shelter and had licked off most of his fur - that little baldy cat turned into a huge fluffy-tailed Maine Coon mix.

    I'd like to see this as a lifestyle choice that is not questioned or seen as different or abnormal, and I plan to continue to be an outspoken advocate of choice.

    I am so looking forward to chatting with all of you!
    doreenjoy
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    Introduce yourself Empty Introduce yourself

    Post  doreenjoy Tue Jun 02, 2009 2:59 pm

    I thought it would be nice if we had an "Introduce Yourself" thread so we can get to know each other.

    My name is Doreen and I live in San Francisco. I got married at 20, and my husband and I always said we wanted kids "someday", but we never idealized what having kids would be like and eventually we both came to realize we liked our lives better without having children of our own. I've been married now for 26 years and I have no regrets about not having children. I see what my siblings are going through with my nieces and nephew, and I know it's not the kind of life I want to live.

    I have a great but demanding job, I like having tons of free time and being a night owl, and I enjoy classical music and keeping tropical fish. Economics is a hobby of mine. I also love photography.

    Oh, and one strange thing about me: I'm an Italian citizen, but I haven't visited Italy (yet).

    Looking forward to getting to know all of you.
    lmkhlh
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    Post  lmkhlh Tue Jun 02, 2009 3:28 pm

    Admin wrote:OOOOK I am trying to figure out how to work this darn thing and get myself a normal username!

    I would suggest using different user names than on the other forum Suspect just so that nobody can google this. I am off to play with settings...so many options aaargh


    WELCOME ! bounce

    Shoot I just saw this, is there a way to change our usernames?
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    Post  Admin Tue Jun 02, 2009 3:29 pm

    lmkhlh wrote:
    Admin wrote:OOOOK I am trying to figure out how to work this darn thing and get myself a normal username!

    I would suggest using different user names than on the other forum Suspect just so that nobody can google this. I am off to play with settings...so many options aaargh


    WELCOME ! bounce

    Shoot I just saw this, is there a way to change our usernames?


    try going to profile in the top menu I love you
    lmkhlh
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    Post  lmkhlh Tue Jun 02, 2009 3:37 pm

    Admin wrote:
    lmkhlh wrote:
    Admin wrote:OOOOK I am trying to figure out how to work this darn thing and get myself a normal username!

    I would suggest using different user names than on the other forum Suspect just so that nobody can google this. I am off to play with settings...so many options aaargh


    WELCOME ! bounce

    Shoot I just saw this, is there a way to change our usernames?


    try going to profile in the top menu I love you

    That's the only box that it won't let me edit, oh well.
    doreenjoy
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    Post  doreenjoy Tue Jun 02, 2009 7:54 pm

    Well, I use "doreenjoy" all over the place, not just on that other forum, so I think I'll stick with it for now. Smile
    queennadine
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    Post  queennadine Tue Jun 02, 2009 9:19 pm

    Hi everyone!!!

    I'm Nadine, and am 23. I'm married to my wonderful husband who's 24. He's on the fence about kids and doesn't want to rule it out, but has said we don't need to discuss it or worry about it for 10 years.

    I def. don't think I want any, but we'll see. Never say never, is what I tell myself when I'm adamant about something!

    I have tons of neices and nephews, and while I don't see them very much, they annoy me, lol.

    So that's about it! Oh, and we have our 2 perfect little Italian Greyhounds, Bailey and Cleo! Bailey's 3 and from a rescue, and Cleo is 1 and we got her as a puppy.

    Very Happy
    lily25
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    Post  lily25 Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:12 am

    Hey Everyone nice to see you here! I'll introduce my self too!

    I'm Lily, I'm 29, I'm on my third degree (right now I study Japanese language and culture), I've worked in banking and investments for 7 years, but quit due to personal and health reasons, so now I'm just a student lol. I got married to my wonderful husband on Sept 2003 and he supports all my decisions, and I can only feel blessed that I've found him (pun intended).

    I knew I didn't want kids ever since my mom gave birth to my little sister, back in 1988, when I was 8,5 years old. She had a rough pregnancy, and my sis was a total brat until now that she is an adult. I love my sis to bits but it was a good example for me of what life with a kid is and it is something I do not wish for.

    I have a 3 year old male Labrador Retriever, and I actively help stray cats and dogs. I make my rounds in my neighborhood, feeding the strays, and taking in newborn puppies or kittens until the are old enough to find a nice home.
    Grace123
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    Post  Grace123 Wed Jun 03, 2009 7:53 am

    Hi Ladies!

    Can the forum be made private? So that only members can read? Then there's no worry about being Googled.

    I'm 54 and like Sharon, it was just assumed I'd grow up, marry and have a family. Well I fooled them all and didn't marry early on, I didn't want to get married, I didn't want kids, none of it. Yes, I was a Maverick before the phrase became popular! Laughing Anyway, I met my hubby and then we decided to make it legal, but no kids. He had been married before, but lucky me, he had no kids and no desire to have them.

    He's retired now, I'm semi-retired, (I was a paralegal who worked in criminal and appellate law), I work just a couple days a week now and we raise dogs. We're both huge animal lovers, live in the country, we have pygmy goats, a pygmy donkey, cats and of course, our beloved dogs. We raise shih tzus, chow chows, and shelties and we also take in rescues. My hubby does rehabilitation with problem dogs (like the Dog Whisperer, only not as rich, rabbit , and then we find them new, forever homes, or if the original people want them back, we 'train' them too. You can only imagine how incensed I was over Mrs. MC bitching about dogs not being as loved as kids!!! She's lucky that we weren't discussing this in person, or I'd sic my chow on her! Haha! Yes, I guess I AM anti-social as she put it. The DSM-IV refers to anti-social being the same as a sociopath, and she wonders why we got pissed? What a dumbass!

    Anyway, I'm glad to be here and being a bit older, I can tell you younger women, never back down from what you believe and what you want. The people who are pushing you to conform, are idiots and live in fear of being an individual. Cool


    Last edited by Grace123 on Wed Jun 03, 2009 7:54 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : spelling!)
    Natalia
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    Post  Natalia Wed Jun 03, 2009 10:27 am

    Sharona wrote:
    I'm married and we have two cats. As much as I love kittens, I can't even deal with kid cats, so we purposely try to adopt the adult cats that are harder to place. We adopted one cat as a senior; he was 12 when we adopted him and is now a spry 15 year old. The younger one was 4, but he had a severe case of cage stress at the shelter and had licked off most of his fur - that little baldy cat turned into a huge fluffy-tailed Maine Coon mix.

    I'd like to see this as a lifestyle choice that is not questioned or seen as different or abnormal, and I plan to continue to be an outspoken advocate of choice.

    I am so looking forward to chatting with all of you!


    I am just like you. I love playing with kittens, but thats as far as it goes! cat I found my pumpkin when he was already a grown up cat, camping at a bus stop in the middle of the winter. Somehow I knew just when i looked at him that this is going to my baby I love you

    I do regret sometimes that i didnt get to see him as a small kitty - maybe he was more playful then? I can stand on my head and clap my ears and these days he will just look at me with his sphinx eyes and you can just hear him say " are you out of your mind, woman?" Very Happy
    Natalia
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    Post  Natalia Wed Jun 03, 2009 10:31 am

    queennadine wrote:Hi everyone!!!

    I'm Nadine, and am 23. I'm married to my wonderful husband who's 24. He's on the fence about kids and doesn't want to rule it out, but has said we don't need to discuss it or worry about it for 10 years.

    I def. don't think I want any, but we'll see. Never say never, is what I tell myself when I'm adamant about something!

    I have tons of neices and nephews, and while I don't see them very much, they annoy me, lol.

    So that's about it! Oh, and we have our 2 perfect little Italian Greyhounds, Bailey and Cleo! Bailey's 3 and from a rescue, and Cleo is 1 and we got her as a puppy.

    Very Happy


    hello sweetie ! You are right never say never, until you are absolutely , 376% sure and even then think twice. I guess the most important thing is that you do or dont do things in accordance with your feelings.If you start wanting babies one day and you feel that you are ready for it, just do it, but if you dont, there is nothing wrong with it - as long as you are happy.

    Looking at our other avatars...maybe your greyhounds could be in yours? Wink
    Natalia
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    Post  Natalia Wed Jun 03, 2009 10:35 am

    lily25 wrote:Hey Everyone nice to see you here! I'll introduce my self too!

    I'm Lily, I'm 29, I'm on my third degree (right now I study Japanese language and culture), I've worked in banking and investments for 7 years, but quit due to personal and health reasons, so now I'm just a student lol. I got married to my wonderful husband on Sept 2003 and he supports all my decisions, and I can only feel blessed that I've found him (pun intended).

    I knew I didn't want kids ever since my mom gave birth to my little sister, back in 1988, when I was 8,5 years old. She had a rough pregnancy, and my sis was a total brat until now that she is an adult. I love my sis to bits but it was a good example for me of what life with a kid is and it is something I do not wish for.

    I have a 3 year old male Labrador Retriever, and I actively help stray cats and dogs. I make my rounds in my neighborhood, feeding the strays, and taking in newborn puppies or kittens until the are old enough to find a nice home.



    Are we all fur mummies here? it looks like it !


    Speaking of brothers and sisters, I am the only child and I am so grateful to my mum for not having more kids. I love being on my own, I need time for and with myself. If I spend too much time around people, I get annoyed fast Rolling Eyes
    I am sure that this is one of the reasons why I dont want to have a child. I would need to sacrfice my solitude that I like so much.
    Natalia
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    Post  Natalia Wed Jun 03, 2009 10:43 am

    Grace123 wrote:Hi Ladies!

    Can the forum be made private? So that only members can read? Then there's no worry about being Googled.

    I'm 54 and like Sharon, it was just assumed I'd grow up, marry and have a family. Well I fooled them all and didn't marry early on, I didn't want to get married, I didn't want kids, none of it. Yes, I was a Maverick before the phrase became popular! Laughing Anyway, I met my hubby and then we decided to make it legal, but no kids. He had been married before, but lucky me, he had no kids and no desire to have them.

    He's retired now, I'm semi-retired, (I was a paralegal who worked in criminal and appellate law), I work just a couple days a week now and we raise dogs. We're both huge animal lovers, live in the country, we have pygmy goats, a pygmy donkey, cats and of course, our beloved dogs. We raise shih tzus, chow chows, and shelties and we also take in rescues. My hubby does rehabilitation with problem dogs (like the Dog Whisperer, only not as rich, rabbit , and then we find them new, forever homes, or if the original people want them back, we 'train' them too. You can only imagine how incensed I was over Mrs. MC bitching about dogs not being as loved as kids!!! She's lucky that we weren't discussing this in person, or I'd sic my chow on her! Haha! Yes, I guess I AM anti-social as she put it. The DSM-IV refers to anti-social being the same as a sociopath, and she wonders why we got pissed? What a dumbass!

    Anyway, I'm glad to be here and being a bit older, I can tell you younger women, never back down from what you believe and what you want. The people who are pushing you to conform, are idiots and live in fear of being an individual. Cool


    I looked throught he options but I cant see anything about making it private Crying or Very sad


    aaah what an antisocial twisted bunch of weirdos are we Rolling Eyes How dare we love our animals so!


    Grace, I love what you wrote there in bold. My mum never taught me that and I spent many years figuring that for myself, I used to have no self-esteem and respect and was so insecure, I believed everything others would say but not me. Luckily, these times are long over, its no BS from anyone time now heheh
    doreenjoy
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    Post  doreenjoy Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:12 pm

    I think we'll be OK with this forum even if it can be Googled. I doubt that we will pull members from that other forum. Frankly I'm surprised more people didn't PM you about getting onto a safe place, Nat.
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    Post  RaeBelle Wed Jun 03, 2009 2:53 pm

    I've noticed on most forums, most people prefer avoiding the topic all together than going somewhere else to discuss it. Not a concept I've applied myself.
    lily25
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    Post  lily25 Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:13 pm

    Natalia wrote:

    Are we all fur mummies here? it looks like it !


    If I spend too much time around people, I get annoyed fast Rolling Eyes
    I am sure that this is one of the reasons why I dont want to have a child. I would need to sacrfice my solitude that I like so much.

    I guess most of us are fur parents lol!

    I also value my solitude and privacy. I have a big problem saying no to ppl, and I know I would be extremely unhappy trying to please each and every person around me, so a traditional family would take me KO. I don't have that kind of energy.
    lily25
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    Post  lily25 Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:19 pm

    Most ppl on the other forum have their email on their profile. Just click on their profile, on the contact info, so you can email them on their private accounts, not pm them through the forum. I'm sure they 'd be happy to participate here. Not everyone read the the post where Natalia said she is starting a new place to chat and anyone who is interested to contact her.

    Don't forget the old thread died and very few ppl will read it. It will get lost eventually, many pages back. That was the plan anyway. Suspect
    Natalia
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    Post  Natalia Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:03 pm

    doreenjoy wrote:I think we'll be OK with this forum even if it can be Googled. I doubt that we will pull members from that other forum. Frankly I'm surprised more people didn't PM you about getting onto a safe place, Nat.

    Still waiting for Irene and Crystalina to move from Yahoo group, and two more gals from the forum wanted to join as well Very Happy

    I know Swanky edited my post, so the info about it is gone. If you can think of anyone that would want to join just let me know.
    Natalia
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    Post  Natalia Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:03 pm

    RaeBelle wrote:I've noticed on most forums, most people prefer avoiding the topic all together than going somewhere else to discuss it. Not a concept I've applied myself.


    Yes, better not mention that HUGE pink elefant in the middle of the room, as if this will make him go away... Rolling Eyes
    Natalia
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    Post  Natalia Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:05 pm

    lily25 wrote:Most ppl on the other forum have their email on their profile. Just click on their profile, on the contact info, so you can email them on their private accounts, not pm them through the forum. I'm sure they 'd be happy to participate here. Not everyone read the the post where Natalia said she is starting a new place to chat and anyone who is interested to contact her.

    Don't forget the old thread died and very few ppl will read it. It will get lost eventually, many pages back. That was the plan anyway. Suspect


    Swanky made sure that its not there anymore What a Face
    Sharona
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    Post  Sharona Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:48 pm

    Natalia wrote:
    Swanky made sure that its not there anymore What a Face

    I expect no less from a mod who has "mama" in her username.

    Sharona, feeling a little snarky.
    lmkhlh
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    Post  lmkhlh Wed Jun 03, 2009 5:29 pm

    I'm Lindsay, I'm 28 and live in Northern California. I have said that I didn't want kids since I was about 13 years old and babysat my parent's neighbors 3 little boys. I watched a lot of arguments occur between the couple that I babysat for and almost all of them were centered around their kids. I noticed as I got older that it seemed like most of the arguments I saw or heard about from couples I knew were centered around kids. That alone is enough to make me not want kids, I love my husband and the way our life is. I don't foresee us ever having children and my family knows me well enough to know that if I say I'm, not having kids then there is no point in pushing the topic. My husbands family however is an entirely different story. They are all about the baby pushing agenda. Okay I think I will stop rambling now...oh yeah I am also a huge sucker for any furry 4 legged critter.

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